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I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time

I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time

Never has an eskimo kiss caused so much imaginary pain.Read more...

Sports Briefing: N.B.A. Executives Predict a Finals Rematch

The league’s general managers expect a third straight matchup between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors.
On Soccer: The Five Months in Mexico That Shaped Pep Guardiola’s Philosophy

On Soccer: The Five Months in Mexico That Shaped Pep Guardiola’s Philosophy

On Wednesday, five months into his tenure as manager of Manchester City, Pep Guardiola will return to Barcelona in the Champions League group stage.
Arsenal Are Out Here Just Embarrassing These Jamokes

Arsenal Are Out Here Just Embarrassing These Jamokes

This is the happy time in every Arsenal season. Everyone is healthy, their world-class players are playing up to their reputations, their really good players are playing out of their minds, and their
Russia Sports Minister Promoted to Deputy Prime Minister

Russia Sports Minister Promoted to Deputy Prime Minister

Vitaly Mutko, center, the Russian sports minister, spoke to para-athletes in August.
Lionel Messi Must Really Hate Pep Guardiola And England

Lionel Messi Must Really Hate Pep Guardiola And England

If there have been two criticisms that have followed Lionel Messi around though his career like yappy little dogs nipping at his ankles—too insignificant to be an actual threat, and just persistent
Sports Briefing: N.F.L.’s Concussion Protocol Gets a Change

Sports Briefing: N.F.L.’s Concussion Protocol Gets a Change

Giants receiver Odell Beckham Jr. after sustaining a hip pointer on Sunday. His status is day to day.
5-Year-Old Diehard Celtic Fan Calls Up Club To Apologize For Missing Game

5-Year-Old Diehard Celtic Fan Calls Up Club To Apologize For Missing Game

Kids these days. They whine and whine about how much they want—no, need—that drum set they’re always going on about, then you get one for them and after two months it sits quietly in the basement,
If Mesut Özil Keeps Scoring Like This, The World Better Watch Out

If Mesut Özil Keeps Scoring Like This, The World Better Watch Out

In Arsenal’s blowout win against Ludogorets yesterday, Mesut Özil scored three goals in the second half. I repeat: Mesut “I Live To Pass And I Never, Ever Shoot So Don’t Ask Me To” Özil scored a hat
First Take Has Nothing On These Portuguese Soccer Pundits

First Take Has Nothing On These Portuguese Soccer Pundits

We might think America’s cadre of shouty TV sports agitators is particularly impressive in a dark and horrifying kind of way, but these two guys on Portugal’s Prolongamento seem like they could bury
American Pleads Guilty in FIFA Case for His Role in Bribes Worth Millions

American Pleads Guilty in FIFA Case for His Role in Bribes Worth Millions

Aaron Davidson, center, before pleading guilty to racketeering conspiracy and wire-fraud conspiracy charges in federal court in Brooklyn.
Pep Guardiola Very Politely Sons British Journalist

Pep Guardiola Very Politely Sons British Journalist

British journalist: “Pep, do you think your failure to beat the best team in the world a couple months into you tenure at a brand new club means you might consider throwing away the tactical
Sports Briefing: Andrés Iniesta’s Injury Mars Barcelona’s Thrilling Win

Sports Briefing: Andrés Iniesta’s Injury Mars Barcelona’s Thrilling Win

Barcelona’s Lionel Messi after converting a penalty in the 94th minute against Valencia. It was Messi’s sixth goal in three games since returning from injury.
Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United

Chelsea Need Just 30 Seconds To Take Lead On Manchester United

Pedro made mincemeat of Man United defense en route to giving Chelsea a 1-0 lead just 30 seconds into their match today at Stamford Bridge. Let’s give Marcos Alonso a hand for the assist, too.Read
Carli Lloyd Scores Two Against Switzerland

Carli Lloyd Scores Two Against Switzerland

Carli Lloyd had a spicy long-range strike in the first half of today’s friendly against Switzerland for the USWNT’s first goal of the match.Read more...
On Soccer: Humiliation Is in the Air as Chelsea Routs Manchester United

On Soccer: Humiliation Is in the Air as Chelsea Routs Manchester United

Chelsea players after N’Golo Kante scored the team’s fourth goal against Manchester United on Sunday.
New York’s M.L.S. Teams Finish Strong

New York’s M.L.S. Teams Finish Strong

Portland’s Lucas Melano, left, and Vancouver Pedro Morales in Vancouver during the final day of the M.L.S. season.
This Soccer Highlight Is The Absolute Worst Soccer Highlight

This Soccer Highlight Is The Absolute Worst Soccer Highlight

The New York Red Bulls’ reserve team faced off against the Swope Park Rangers in something called the USL Cup Final last night. The Rangers, however, were justifiably forced to forfeit before the 90
The Premier League Has Never Been Better

The Premier League Has Never Been Better

Coming into this rich and talented and historically well-coached Premier League season, no one had any real idea about who was good and who was bad and who would win (probably Manchester City). Then
Lionel Messi Had Some Unkind Things To Say About These Fans' Mothers

Lionel Messi Had Some Unkind Things To Say About These Fans' Mothers

Barcelona came agonizingly close to losing Sunday’s battle against Valencia, and might’ve even ended up losing the war for La Liga with Andrés Iniesta’s knee injury. But it’s never smart to count out