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I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time

I Can't Stop Watching These Two Soccer Dummies Flop At The Same Time

Never has an eskimo kiss caused so much imaginary pain.Read more...
The Jacksonville Jaguars, Everybody

The Jacksonville Jaguars, Everybody

The Jags had pinned Oakland back for fourth-and-24, and the Raiders made things even harder on themselves by botching the punt’s long snap. The result of the play? First down, Oakland.Read more...
Marvelous Work, 49ers

Marvelous Work, 49ers

Today’s NFL matchups have resulted in some of the worst professional football we’ve seen in years. Here is just one contribution from the San Francisco 49ers.Read more...
We Are All Living In Hell [Update]

We Are All Living In Hell [Update]

There is no ever-loving deity. There is only Satan himself, handling the levers and pulleys that guide our lives, our limbs, our souls. Update: Read more...
This Soccer Highlight Is The Absolute Worst Soccer Highlight

This Soccer Highlight Is The Absolute Worst Soccer Highlight

The New York Red Bulls’ reserve team faced off against the Swope Park Rangers in something called the USL Cup Final last night. The Rangers, however, were justifiably forced to forfeit before the 90
The Mavericks And Pacers Set Basketball Back A Few Decades On This Sequence

The Mavericks And Pacers Set Basketball Back A Few Decades On This Sequence

The NBA is back, which means it’s time for cool highlights, like dunks, blocks, and Charles Barkley’s bad takes. But none of those live up to the majesty and splendor of, uh, whatever this is. Read
Boy, Thursday Night Football Is The Best, Isn't It?

Boy, Thursday Night Football Is The Best, Isn't It?

We are blessed by the NFL’s benevolence in its grace to provide us the finest professional football every Thursday night. We aren’t worthy of witnessing the incredible talents of the Jacksonville
Laser Focus

Laser Focus

Have something you think we should know? Email us at tips@deadspin.com, call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can
Cleveland Gifted A Few Runs To Chicago With Some Dumbass Defense

Cleveland Gifted A Few Runs To Chicago With Some Dumbass Defense

It was a perfectly normal, albeit disappointing, first-inning development when Josh Tomlin followed up two quick outs by laying an easy curveball for Kris Bryant to jerk out of the ballpark. Much less
Let's Check In On Joakim Noah And The Knicks

Let's Check In On Joakim Noah And The Knicks

The Knicks traveled to play fellow mediocre-ish Eastern Conference squad Detroit this evening, and Joakim Noah did this. Turns out, a shitty Vine of someone’s TV is the perfect way to show you this
Rudy Gay's Game-Winning Attempt Missed Everything But His Teammate's Head

Rudy Gay's Game-Winning Attempt Missed Everything But His Teammate's Head

Rudy Gay had 30 points and 12 boards in a valiant loss for the Sacramento Kings down in Miami tonight. The team can take heart in their near-win against an Eastern Conference playoff team on the road.
Zinedine Zidane's Kid Gave Up A Dumb Own Goal

Zinedine Zidane's Kid Gave Up A Dumb Own Goal

This here’s Luca Zidane. He’s the teenage son of Real Madrid manager Zinedine Zidane and he plays keeper for Real Madrid’s youth team. They played Legia Warsaw today, just like their senior side, and
Fast Break Reinvented

Fast Break Reinvented

One time I was playing basketball and I fell and my shorts came off somehow. That’s about as bad as what happened to Sam Dekker here, or more accurately, what Sam Dekker did to himself.Read more...
Sixers And Hornets Give Up, Decide To Just Sort Of Flail Everywhere

Sixers And Hornets Give Up, Decide To Just Sort Of Flail Everywhere

We’ve brought you a lot of dumb basketball lately, but good lord, this here sequence from the Sixers and Hornets is the worst offense yet. Read more...
Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday

Cristiano Ronaldo Played Like Shit Yesterday

The most shocking scoreline of yesterday’s round of Champions League matches was definitely the 3-3 draw between reigning European champions Real Madrid and Polish giants (but European minnows) Legia
Texas Tech Increases Lead On Texas With 100-Yard Fumble Return Touchdown

Texas Tech Increases Lead On Texas With 100-Yard Fumble Return Touchdown

Texas running back D’Onta Foreman was a profile in courage as he dragged half a dozen Texas Tech defenders to the goal line. Then, tragically, he fumbled—and the Red Raiders’ Douglas Coleman picked up
All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt

All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt

With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over. Read more...
New York Basketball Is Perfect And Pristine

New York Basketball Is Perfect And Pristine

We’ve been blessed with a few sequences of perfect basketball already this season, and last night the Knicks and Nets served up a hot slice of authentic “Big Apple” hoops. This encapsulates everything
Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal

Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal

The Bruins were murder on goalies last night, chasing Sergei Bobrovsky with four goals on nine shots in their eventual 5-2 win over the Blue Jackets. They got to Tuukka Rask too, even though he plays