39 Things Newly Single People Say And What They Actually Mean
We’ve all been there.
1. "I finally have the whole bed to myself." – I've forgotten how to fall asleep alone and it sucks.
2. "So ready to move on, let's do this!" – I'm totally not ready to move on, but what choice do I have?
3. "The bad times are over, and the good times are just getting started!" – I've wasted my youth.
4. "What do single people do on Saturday night?" – I'm single and ready to mingle.
5. "Someone else can have my leftovers." – I will lose my SHIT if my ex gets into a new relationship before I do.
6. "A toast to new beginnings!" – I need to change my Twitter and Facebook passwords.
7. "The only way to get over someone is to get under someone else." – I'm gonna have sex with LOTS of undeserving strangers.
8. "I need to love myself before I can love anyone else." – I'm getting fat and no one out there likes me.
9. "I'm going to focus more on my career." – I wonder who I can date at work?
10. "I only need friends and family in this world." – My cat and I have Netflix plans.
20th Century Fox / Via larkable.com
11. "I'm ready to take on the world, nothing can hold me back now." – My thirst is real.
12. "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." – I can't wait until bad karma bites my ex in the ass.
13. "We're gonna stay friends." – I will never see that person ever again.
14. "I'm probably gonna stay single, like, forever." – I need someone to save me from online dating.
15. "On to the next one!" – I require superficial validation and acceptance, NOW.
16. "I'm an adult, I'm practically over it." – I'm an immature child who's still crying inside.
17. "I wish we met at a different time." – I wish I had my shit together before we broke up.
18. "I'm loving this single lifestyle!" – I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want.